I have been thinking about how will I plot my feats and great life-turning experiences into words, but I cannot seem to find the right ones to give justice on how joyful and heart-warming these past few months had been.
But I guess that is how each and everyone of us start. We choose our words so carefully to describe the moments so special in our hearts, that we want to share it exactly how we felt it. And when you share your own feats, the goose bumps that entail with these, and how INCREDIBLE your life turned around exactly how you want it to be, you cannot contain your happiness yet again; making you reminisce about all the good things that happened after the storm...or perhaps months of crazy tsunami! Truly, calm seas never made a skillful sailor. :)
(I used the word INCREDIBLE because I remember during my elementary days, when I still read my pocket Miriam Webster Dictionary when I'm bored, I was in awe of how this word was formed. "IN" is inserted when you pertain to "NOT" as a suffix connected to a word and "CRED" means "believe." So it is a perfect way to describe all the things that happened to me now. THEY ARE ALL INCREDIBLE!!!! My heart is so happy. Surely, there are still a lot of ups and downs but I feel so much better now. I thank God for everything I have been through, no matter how hard they are or how many tears I shed, because I can truly say they're all worth it.)
A few days ago, I got a message from my dear manager, ms. Kim. :) She copy pasted my Nine-Month Flashback post, and told me to read it again. I was in tears upon reading all my struggles, frustrations and personal goals and realizing they all came to life in a span of weeks when I accepted and embraced with an open and happy heart all the hard things that are happening to me; because I believed everything will pass -- good or bad. This blog had been so personal to me. I usually don't, for the lack of a better word, promote it because this blog had been my avenue when I uplift myself. It is too sacred that I wanted it to touch lives. But since that time, I felt that these are just pure drama (because I believe everyone has their own battle to fight, so I don't have the right to promote my rant); only to realize that it can be an inspiration to my teammates, and to uplift their heavy hearts with countless frustrations that we are destined to face in our line of job.
What I am so so so so super kaduper sincerely happy about is how my strong desire to help my family came true. Reading my past blog posts help me realign my goals again. I was in tears when reading my blog posts and thinking how amazing God turned my life around, exactly when He knew I was ready. I was so scared to fight, because I was thinking I cannot make it because of the bullshit I store in my head. But what I am fortunate of is the character He had instilled in me to surpass all those negativity that come along the way.
Earlier, I've said I was having a hard time choosing my words carefully, because I wanted every blog post to be so memorable -- only to realize based on my previous posts that when you make sure you just type down what's in your heart, and the desires from the utmost of your being, there are no wrong words to say. I have realized how powerful my words were, and how it helped me set my mind in terms of achieving my goals, and maintaining a light heart. I have learned from my mistakes, and those words helped me not to do it again.
Despite the new struggle I am facing now, I am really scared and in panic mode. But what I know now is that I have the character and will to fight this battle again. I am so in love with life, that I am willing to plunge again on the cliff of uncertainty. and that my dear Lord will help me get pass through it.
Yet again, there are so many things and moments I'd like to share in this blog. I should allow myself to have a time for it. :) Because one of the desires of my heart is for every sales man to experience the adrenaline and the exhilarating sigh of relief that things will be perfectly just fine in God's time. :)
For now, I shall go back to encoding my CASs and updating my clients...
And after a few months of silence in this blog, one of the things I can sincerely say until now is...I have never been so in love with my job than I am now. :) And I thank God for it. :)
No comments:
Post a Comment