A Nine-month Flashback a.k.a. My No-Starbucks-At-My-Own-Expense Week

There's a philosophy that goes "for humility, look back and remember where you came from."

As much as possible, we do our best to take control of our lives -- discerning the areas we would like to improve and acting on it -- but there are also moments that we tend to do a little too much. These past few months had been very experimental for me in almost every fiber of my being --physically, emotionally, mentally, spiritually and habitually. There were times when you are on a roll accomplishing task after task; but there are those where you are at the verge of quitting --not necessarily on your job but on yourself at your weakest point. It's hard to handle, all these raging thoughts that you seem to can't put into words while staying strong for you not to lose composure. When things get out of hand, I always put into mind that tough situations are inevitable and to some extent, uncontrollable; but you always have the option to manage your perspective, forgive yourself and polish your imperfections. 

I have also learned that there is such thing as contradicting views in terms of reading people. You can either be misinterpreted or you could have done not-so-nice actions that you didn't mean to do. It's as if what you wanted to be perceived for improvement and self-empowerment purposes may be misinterpreted; versus unconsciously doing the opposite that worsens the situation.

In order for me to cope with all the stress and frustration, I always make sure to take a step back and re-evaluate myself. And my way of doing such "self-inspection" is to travel down memory lane. 

It puts me back to perspective. 

It allows me to restate my goals and double check if I still want those things. 

It gives me a sense of judgement if my actions right now help me on achieving those goals. 

It creates me a sense of urgency in terms of measuring self-improvement. 

It energizes me whenever I feel like this job isn't for me; only to find out all these time, it wasn't the job but myself. 

It gives me a smack of reality that this opportunity wouldn't be here forever given that I won't push myself to do better in the coming days.

But what's best about looking back is realizing how far you have made it, asking yourself 'why give up now?' and restoring the faith on yourself and converting these into better results. 

Nine months ago, I was just at home waiting for an opportunity to come.

Nine months ago, I was so guarded with myself because I was afraid to fail.

Nine months ago, I was daydreaming on what life would be after college.

Nine months ago, I was so scared of reality because I don't see myself smart and competitive enough to face it.

Nine months ago, I was just an average college student who was so hard and disappointed with herself because I can't seem to reach my own expectations.

Nine months ago, I would heavily sigh seeing my parents work hard and struggle just to give our family a comfortable life. It was painful seeing them grow old and couldn't enjoy their own money just so they can give everything we want and need. 

Nine months ago, I was naive, insecured in so many aspects and in the dark amidst uncertainty.

Nine months later, I have a nice office in Bonifacio Global City (which is by the way what I wished for when I was in college) having the most supportive, honest and positive team probably amongst all teams in the company.

Nine months later, I would fearlessly plunge ahead and choose to be a go-getter rather than be afraid.

Nine months later, I took this huge opportunity for a 20-year old to truly change her life in so many levels.

Nine months later, I have colleagues who believe in me, and state beautiful uplifting things that never crossed my mind I possess.

Nine months later, I am still given the privilege to not just change my life, but give my family financial freedom and arrive at a certain point where I can let my parents enjoy their hard-earned money.

Nine months later, I was told I am strong but keep on allowing myself to be weak at times. I cannot say that  I am emotionally stable now because I have not arrived at that point YET; but I am doing way better than I was before. 

Nine months later, I still don't have a sale yet but the way I see these struggles energizes me more to fight back. I remember the saying I have watched somewhere, "you are already in pain. Get a reward from it." But for me, it's more than a reward. It's more of ripping your hard work and giving yourself a pat in the back for a job well done in general; for having a stronger character, for not giving up and for achieving the goals that may seem daunting before. 

Nine months later, I realized how blessed I am and how God gave me those detours before that led me here. 

Nine months later, I am nothing but thankful. :)

P.S. I have vowed not to buy my daily Starbucks morning coffee staple for a week (except Monday) to save money and as a means of reminding me to stay humble and that I am not yet entitled to such luho. Just a little self-discipline shenanigans! Peace!

The Ulterior Motive Of A 20-Year-Old-Millionaire-Wannabe

Most people might say that wishing to be a millionaire at twenty might not sound right.

Some may say we are...

1. Too greedy pertaining on their thoughts to shop 'til they drop;

2. Too idealistic pertaining to this bubble of a usual fresh-out-of-college kid have when they finally got the go signal to make the world as their oyster;

3. Too lucky if they achieve such goal because they don't even have bills to pay yet -- no rent to think about, no utilities expense because they're still practically living with their parents and probably might get discouraged to work harder the next time because they stumbled upon such opportunity so easily;

4. Too hard to reach pertaining to the simultaneously non-stop quivering questions:

Where and how will you get your first or first few millions at twenty?

And given that there's a way to earn that amount, can and will this twenty-year-old be able to handle all the pressure and stress that entail with such prestige?

This may be too much inspiration extracted from watching The Apprentice Asia and hearing Jonathan Yabut speak--but I am one of the few twenty-year-olds that will withstand and declare these three points:

1. Earning a million or two at the age of twenty is possible; 

2. Not all fresh graduates face a responsibility-free/carefree life;

3. And with the right attitude and perspective, yes we can handle the pressure and stress --might get emotional sometimes, but you can never question a youth's fighting spirit especially when they are fighting for a reason so dear to them.

Here's my side of the story:

        I graduated from DLSU, but that doesn't mean I came from an extremely well-off family. I got my diplomat at twenty years old, which was just a few months ago. Surely, it was fun and humbling to carry the pride of being a La Sallian; but for reality to smack you at the face saying it's time to use that tool and privilege to help your family is a big responsibility to take.

        I want to be a millionaire at twenty to experience that exhilarating sigh of relief that every month, all our bills are covered. My mom wouldn't have to worry where to get, just in case the clinic is not doing well or if the allowance from my dad will be delayed for a few days or if he's out of the country, weeks. I want to treat my family to dinner whenever and wherever they want. I want to receive a call from my parents telling me that there's a huge expense they're not expecting to have, and arrive at that priceless moment when I'll assure them not to worry because I got it all covered. I want to treat them for a family trip abroad we've been longing to have. I want to have a bonding session with my mom and be able to shop for her; or as simple as treating my dad for coffee or a hearty breakfast and just sit there with him while reading our own newspapers. I want to give decent gifts to my family where I'll see their wide-eyed shocked expression when they realize my gifts to them are those they've been wanting to have but can't. I want to ensure that I will be able to assist my parents on giving my brother not just the best education, but the best environment and culture there is. I want to provide my own needs as well, take a step closer to the image of my ideal and just be comfortable on my own skin without worrying what others might say about me, because by that time, I'll most probably feel secured, independent, strong-willed and someone that had proved she can handle herself. I want to experience the finer things in life, not alone but with my family, friends and colleagues so dear to me. I want to look back and have a smile on my face realizing that all the hard work and struggles were worth it, that I wouldn't take the path I'm in any other way.

          I want to be a sophisticated and independent young lady that is able to enjoy life because she worked hard for it, to not be a hot mess but be a beautiful twisted sunshine, to be a daughter that my parents can be proud of, to be a sister that my brother will always look up and seek advice to, to be trusted by my manager that I will perform by hook or by crook, to be known as a hard and smart worker by her colleagues which they may see as an inspiration, to be known as a person who didn't celebrate her own feat alone but still surrounded herself by loving family, friend and colleagues. I want to be that sophisticated lady whom everyone would say she deserves wherever she is and whatever she has now.

         I have decided to put these thoughts here in my blog to serve as an inspiration and motivation to work harder and smarter. Right now, my status in the job that I have now is really not good. I am being depressed, getting frustrated and on the verge of giving up because I can't perform even some of the most basic requirements. But at the end of the day, I always question myself if I could have seized the day more, if I could have done better in all aspects, and if I could have gotten more quality and qualified clients. What baffles me is my always answer is yes. I know I am capable; I know I can find a way despite the variance of support even on the farthest of my network; but why do I always allow the day to eat me alive and choke such talents and abilities that I have? Time isn't on my side now, and I can probably lose my job next month if I continue to work like this.

This blog post is a simple way to fuel myself fully again, especially now that I have been running out of wisdom and will to fight.

This blog post will always remind me of why am I here even if almost everything isn't going my way.

This blog post will always remind me of who I want to be and what future do I want -- not just for me but for my family as well.

On a lighter note, I am blessed that God prepared me for this. He had given me parents that taught me how to deal difficult times on my own. He had given me obstacles before that taught me how to be strong and resilient. He had given me enough wisdom to help myself carry on. He had given me this level of maturity at such a young age, because He knows I believe I am destined for greatness. And knowing how blessed I am no matter how difficult the instances are now, I know I will survive and I will make it.

My vision of a 2014 version of Vrig is something like this:

Simple but elegant, classy and with subtance.

TRANSLATION NO. 1: If you didn't reach the stars, at least you fell in the roof! 

TRANSLATION NO. 2: Libre mangarap! Teehee. :) 

Getting A Grip

It is a given fact that life in general is not hearts and flowers. All the more should our expectations be at work or what we decided as our chosen career. Surely, when we settled to spend a coupe of years in one place, there will be rosy days and how-bad-moments at the same time. At this point, I cannot translate into words further how my frustrations and shortcomings try to get the best of me. It has been a series of failures week after week, and I cannot point directly which method should I take to uplift myself. Perhaps my "saving grace" to help me carry on is the saying, "Success is ninety percent failure." You may say I am a bit childish to settle on cliches and quotes to give myself a push, but when you're in the dark, when you can't give yourself optimism any longer, it all boils down to the little ways you do to motivate yourself. The obligation to motivate ourselves shouldn't be given to a family, friend or colleague --sure, they would love to support you but they have their own battles too. Being strong and resilient are two different things that complement each other very well. When you're strong, you can take all the punches and accept it. But without resiliency, one cannot bounce back better. Perhaps, that's one of the many things I'd have to learn more. I'd love to arrive on that point wherein when someone asks me to describe myself, I can truly and genuinely say that I am resilient; that without any shame, I can tell stories on how I became resilient on different situations, especially on my career, and let others be inspired by it. All this time, I know my worst enemy in terms of being resilient is myself. I've learned it the hard way, that's why I cannot let it happen again. And so in a few hours, I will once again go to the office, face my battles and hopefully win it after all these struggles. 

EYES ON THE PRIZE.

Six Feet Under Rock Bottom

When you're pushed against the wall too hard, will you just merely follow orders?

When you're sure you are at your most comfortable skin, but your loved ones cannot accept it, will you sacrifice your identity to please them?

When you know you need a friend, but even whom you consider so close to you cannot understand your point, will you blame yourself for being so close-minded?

When all you think about is to give them a comfortable life but they're so against the ways how you'll make it happen, will you still push through?

When you know you have potential, but you cannot seem to unleash it, will you just give up and plunge to uncertainy?

When you think you lost someone close to you by a mistake you both did, will you just let it slide and wait for awkwardness to ease and carry on or you will blame yourself for doing such stupid thing?

When there are no more optimism to give and everything you hoped for to be okay starts dwindling down, should you surrender or should you fight against the triple heavy weights on your shoulders?

When you're starting to become a liability to a group so precious to you, should you leave without resiliency or gain momentum again and be better?

When you cannot breathe and you just feel like breaking down in one corner because you have no one to talk to, will you let all of it drown you? 

I have these million questions and situations inside my head right now, and as much as I want to talk about it one by one, I can't seem to pull all my shit together. My soul is six feet under rock bottom and I need something, someone or whatever to pull me up. I may not rant or talk about it as much, but I can't deal with this alone. 

I feel stupid and I hate it.

Eat Pray Love moment

It is true when they say a lot of changes can happen within a year. 

Looking back July 2012, I was in La Luz with my MARKEVE classmates having the best midterms ever --beginning the day planning a strategy event after event prepared by different groups, having fun while stressing over how to save the lack of preparation, carelessly eating the joyous buffet any time of the day, drinking until dawn with so many funny and sentimental stories to tell, and even savoring our lives away from the metro. When the class started, I saw familiar faces and acquaintances, but I had insecurities that I realistically don't have group of friends there, because most of my friends are my colleagues in my organizations enrolled in different courses. 

Looking back, it made me a stronger believer that everything happens for a reason. I used to think of the idea as an excuse to make myself feel better every time I screw up. But now that I can connect the dots on how marvelously my life changed due to these unexpected turn of events, I can sincerely say that I wouldn't have lived my life any other way.  

And so fast forward to July 2013...

I am one of the thousand book worms and movie buffs that fell in love with Elizabeth Gilbert's Eat Pray Love. Truly, a sort of epiphany happens to you wherein you realize major changes must be done. Let me share my own version of my current Eat Pray Love moment. 

PRAY

My relationship with God had been tested in so many levels, but I guess at the end of the day, what matters is you go back to Him, apologize for your shortcomings and wrong-doings and at least try to be better. In terms of the Pray aspect I've been undergoing now, it is not just my relationship with God that changed. The relationship I have with myself is waaaay better than the past year. I now forgive myself easily, laugh at my mistakes and move on, motivate myself when times get rough, and think about what I can do to be better. 

I have also proven the idea, used to be just a quote to me, that when you are thankful with what you have now, you end up finding yourself having more. A simple gesture of friendship or a sincere compliment can go a long way. Sometimes, we fail to think about others. We only think about our current situation; to the point that we forget people around us are undergoing different sorts of struggle as well. I guess, it is normal that people can be subconsciously selfish -- and when our worries and fears are too much to take, it can never be taken against us; but that's the purpose of building friendships. You share what's wrong, a friend shares wisdom to enlighten your darkest hours; and vice versa. 

I am so thankful and overwhelmed of my current situation on this department. I am blessed with a supportive family (in most aspects), caring and loving friends, and a workplace that has great stories to tell to turn your life around. I have also realized that it pays to be nice to everyone --wealthy or poor, annoying or endearing, from the highest to the lowest management -- because all the energy you exert will be given back to you. 

I have been attending bible studies from time to time. My experiences with this form of faith erased several connotations that people frown upon. And you'll be surprised that no matter how vast the topic is, there's an aspect in your life that you can relate to and apply. I also love hearing other people's thoughts, wisdom and experiences during sharing. It widens your mind, and you learn how to become selfless and extra sensitive when interacting with people. Everyone has a soft spot, and when you hear their stories, it feels comforting that you're not the only one facing hardships each day. At times, you even become more thankful on what you have. You make it a point to count your blessings even more keenly. In Filipino, we usually have this reaction "Ang sarap sarap sa pakiramdam," or it will even make you think "ang swerte ko."

LOVE

I have so many things to share about the LOVE aspect but every story I can tell all boils down to...

I love my family.

I love my friends.

I love my job.

I love being single.
I love my diet.
I love my struggles.

I love the stress I have now.

I love my imperfections.

I love to be fallen rock bottom and work my way up.

I love commuting when meeting clients on all parts of the vicinity and even the times when I cry because the stupid colorum van stopped somewhere I don't know which made me walk in heels because I got stranded the other night and my pair of flats got wet. 

I love envisioning the comfortable life I can give my family upon surpassing all these hurdles.

I love my insecurities now that help me dream of a better future. 

I love how quite a few, if they are not many, see my potential and believe that I can do it, even if most of the time, I don't have much belief in myself. 

All of these thoughts, I store in my head to remind me that difficult situations will pass and I have to be reminded that I have a great support system that backs me up. It also helps me to savor each wonderful moment knowing that this too shall pass.

A year ago, I have to admit I had undergone depression thinking and feeling that I don't have enough friends, that I'm not good enough to succeed, that maybe I have to stop trying so hard to unleash my potential and just be contented on being pwede na. 

But deep inside, there was a small glimmer of hope uplifting myself that everything will fall into place. As of this moment, that's what's happening to me. And I love it! :)

When You're Experiencing Rock Bottom...

...always remind yourself that there's no way but up. :)

In need of motivation, push and self belief. Hard times, hard times. It will pass. :)

Reasons Why I Think Salesmen Are The Best Individuals Existing

1. Salesmen make visions happen. Based from experience, you'll never last in sales if you don't have that burning desire to make a vision happen. A salesman's hurdles directly reflect the way they move, how fueled they are to face each day in search of clients no matter how hard and daunting it is, and the strength they subconsciously acquire every day where rolling with the punches is like a baptism of fire to get you closer on making a sale.

2. They are great storytellers! As most of my close friends know, writing (no matter how scattered my thoughts are or how dramatic my posts may be) keeps me sane. When I can write something well and good, it gives me the assurance that I am in control with my life. What's more cool about writing is you paint a picture inside people's minds or tell a story in an orderly manner. I love writing and interacting with people; but let's face the fact that ideal writers are not ready to accept: passion for writing can only take you so far financially and practically. That's what I like about Sales --you share a story after story relevant to the product you offer, and then you get paid for it reasonably. Talking to clients should feel like you're just telling a story. I love to see myself some time soon to interact with my clients by being their story teller-slash-property-adviser. I'm more on writing stuff when I want to share my perceptions, but I think Sales is a good avenue to develop my speech communication properly. :)

3. Salesmen have great stories to tell. As a story teller and the everyday interaction with different people that comes with the job, you can learn so much while talking to them --may it be the economy, stocks, business, culture, fashion and even the latest trends in town! Name it. I love how well-rounded you can be in this industry. Even on a personal level, if you ask how successful salesmen's lives turned around and what kind of hurdles they had to face, their life stories are so inspiring and energizing!

4. Strong Character is a requirement --or at least you'll learn along the way how. A colleague of mine described her job as a test and constant development of character. Everyday, you put yourself out there with the thought that there is a certain market for what you're offering and you can easily penetrate the world as your oyster. But then you realize it's not that easy. There are boundaries that should strictly be respected, and limitations that will test your flexibility and preparedness. However, no matter how the turn of events at the end of the day success or failure, you are sure to learn something new. :) it's what keeps you on your feet!

5. Successful salesmen have the best attitude. In order to survive life, generally speaking, you have to adjust your outlook on different cases. And come to think of it, that's every successful person's key. If you cannot control the situation, control the way you view it.

I can go on and on about how I love my job and the people that surrounds me at the office despite the stress, but I guess more importantly, this is my way of reminding myself how bad I want to succeed on this area, how my gut tells me that no matter how hard and competitive this industry is, I'll be just fine. :) I can feel I'll be one of the bests on this and I can carry this label well despite all the negativity and discrimination that connote this opportunity. :) Above all, I am thankful for my teammates for inspiring me to be better everyday even on low times when I almost gave up on myself. :)

posted from Bloggeroid

I love college.

Early February, I was talking to my thesismates about being best thesis and training experiences. We all agreed that not getting best thesis is totally fine with us, since we had the best time on our practicum. We're so blessed to have met such wonderful, successful people, to experience hard but rewarding challenges, and to achieve the maturity we have now. 

Little did we know that there's still a bonus waiting for us in MyLaSalle! :) Truly, I can say now that one of the best terms I've had in college is the last. Yay to us, ChiCom!! Great job again.. :) 

 Look who's gaduating!!!! :)

most wonderful piece of advice I got today...

Don't climb the ladder. Buy the ladder!

I wish there are more optimistic people today. Sure, there will always be uncertainties but just one glimmering sunshine in someone's life can go a long way. Haaaay. Blessed to have a very supportive group, a manager who not only teaches us how to be good at Sales but also how to love our job, and a handful of insanely positive individuals you'd love to be surrounded with. :)

I also experienced my first bible study today at work. It's refreshing and certainly, a wonderful way to start the week. Must have an Ayala Greenfield Estates Open House guest this Sunday!!

Blog renovated. Tadaaaaaaaaaa! :)

Aaaaccckk!! My blog just got redressed and had undergone a concept renovation from I am Vrig to One VRIG at a time.

Lately, I've been fond of wordplay -- changing my always formal twitter name from VrigVuelba to a witty h20underTheVrig (from the saying "water under the bridge"). As you can see, this blog became more formal compared to the giddy atmosphere it had before. The description also changed into something serious. I guess I've passed the phase of instilling that I have to be myself; now that I'm on my 20s, I'll probably focus on the fun of exploring the world, and taking each opportunity one step at a time. :)

Maturity stares me at the face more often these past few months. Perhaps, this is me telling myself that I have to think of who I really want to be. The reality that I have to face for the next few years is daunting --so much for a 20-year old to carry if you ask me. Most fresh graduates can't wait for their trip to Bora with friends, or how many countries will they explore for the next few months, but being in my shoes mirrors the need to plan things out and make actions as soon as possible.

You, my dear readers (if there's any), might ask why my blog description is so deep...

Life keeps on throwing situations where I have big shoes to fill and huge gaps to connect. Here's to hoping one VRIG (bridge) at a time will do. Cheers! 

The explanation might lead us to a coffee table for two, as I explain my sorta complicated but blessed living. For this blog post's worth, let's just say that being the eldest kid requires responsibilities to attend to and expectations to meet. However, I still choose to remain positive! :) So take this joy ride with me, will you?