Eat Pray Love moment

It is true when they say a lot of changes can happen within a year. 

Looking back July 2012, I was in La Luz with my MARKEVE classmates having the best midterms ever --beginning the day planning a strategy event after event prepared by different groups, having fun while stressing over how to save the lack of preparation, carelessly eating the joyous buffet any time of the day, drinking until dawn with so many funny and sentimental stories to tell, and even savoring our lives away from the metro. When the class started, I saw familiar faces and acquaintances, but I had insecurities that I realistically don't have group of friends there, because most of my friends are my colleagues in my organizations enrolled in different courses. 

Looking back, it made me a stronger believer that everything happens for a reason. I used to think of the idea as an excuse to make myself feel better every time I screw up. But now that I can connect the dots on how marvelously my life changed due to these unexpected turn of events, I can sincerely say that I wouldn't have lived my life any other way.  

And so fast forward to July 2013...

I am one of the thousand book worms and movie buffs that fell in love with Elizabeth Gilbert's Eat Pray Love. Truly, a sort of epiphany happens to you wherein you realize major changes must be done. Let me share my own version of my current Eat Pray Love moment. 

PRAY

My relationship with God had been tested in so many levels, but I guess at the end of the day, what matters is you go back to Him, apologize for your shortcomings and wrong-doings and at least try to be better. In terms of the Pray aspect I've been undergoing now, it is not just my relationship with God that changed. The relationship I have with myself is waaaay better than the past year. I now forgive myself easily, laugh at my mistakes and move on, motivate myself when times get rough, and think about what I can do to be better. 

I have also proven the idea, used to be just a quote to me, that when you are thankful with what you have now, you end up finding yourself having more. A simple gesture of friendship or a sincere compliment can go a long way. Sometimes, we fail to think about others. We only think about our current situation; to the point that we forget people around us are undergoing different sorts of struggle as well. I guess, it is normal that people can be subconsciously selfish -- and when our worries and fears are too much to take, it can never be taken against us; but that's the purpose of building friendships. You share what's wrong, a friend shares wisdom to enlighten your darkest hours; and vice versa. 

I am so thankful and overwhelmed of my current situation on this department. I am blessed with a supportive family (in most aspects), caring and loving friends, and a workplace that has great stories to tell to turn your life around. I have also realized that it pays to be nice to everyone --wealthy or poor, annoying or endearing, from the highest to the lowest management -- because all the energy you exert will be given back to you. 

I have been attending bible studies from time to time. My experiences with this form of faith erased several connotations that people frown upon. And you'll be surprised that no matter how vast the topic is, there's an aspect in your life that you can relate to and apply. I also love hearing other people's thoughts, wisdom and experiences during sharing. It widens your mind, and you learn how to become selfless and extra sensitive when interacting with people. Everyone has a soft spot, and when you hear their stories, it feels comforting that you're not the only one facing hardships each day. At times, you even become more thankful on what you have. You make it a point to count your blessings even more keenly. In Filipino, we usually have this reaction "Ang sarap sarap sa pakiramdam," or it will even make you think "ang swerte ko."

LOVE

I have so many things to share about the LOVE aspect but every story I can tell all boils down to...

I love my family.

I love my friends.

I love my job.

I love being single.
I love my diet.
I love my struggles.

I love the stress I have now.

I love my imperfections.

I love to be fallen rock bottom and work my way up.

I love commuting when meeting clients on all parts of the vicinity and even the times when I cry because the stupid colorum van stopped somewhere I don't know which made me walk in heels because I got stranded the other night and my pair of flats got wet. 

I love envisioning the comfortable life I can give my family upon surpassing all these hurdles.

I love my insecurities now that help me dream of a better future. 

I love how quite a few, if they are not many, see my potential and believe that I can do it, even if most of the time, I don't have much belief in myself. 

All of these thoughts, I store in my head to remind me that difficult situations will pass and I have to be reminded that I have a great support system that backs me up. It also helps me to savor each wonderful moment knowing that this too shall pass.

A year ago, I have to admit I had undergone depression thinking and feeling that I don't have enough friends, that I'm not good enough to succeed, that maybe I have to stop trying so hard to unleash my potential and just be contented on being pwede na. 

But deep inside, there was a small glimmer of hope uplifting myself that everything will fall into place. As of this moment, that's what's happening to me. And I love it! :)