There are a lot of reflections that need to be done. Mostly are pertaining to how 2014 had been for me so far. Most certainly, I just need another thinking time again to make sense of what's happening. Some people say I am a thinker more than a doer. Perhaps that is the main reason why I love writing...so that I can see right through my eyes what my thoughts are because they all come so fast like a rush that make all of it so hard to digest.
I have always needed to write things down so that I can absorb it better. Now, we'll see how I can figure out to fix this life of mine through writing yet again on this blog.
Oddly, I am still at the office. I still want to work -- make calls, send e-mails and text updates -- but there is someone in me that says I need to stop for a while and just write everything down. This is me again in a situation of getting a grip, because lately, I have been so restless. I cannot stay home. I cannot stay at one place. For me, I cannot be stuck with my situation now. I hope, after this entry or entries, I will be more calm and more focused on my goals.
It scares me to write all the things I went and have been going through; but fear cannot be defeated without looking on its eye, right? Perhaps, this is the right time to be brave.
They say "Fortune Favors the Brave," so let us see if I can finally break free from all these coma --mentally, emotionally, spiritually but thank God, not physically! I am still so blessed after all.
My manager always tells me that wherever you will be put in life, problems never stop. It really never will...and it is so true! It just depends on how you see and deal with these things.
Perhaps, these past few months, I sort of lost myself. I sort of lost God. And I sort of forgot my purpose.
But I am happy again because I find myself 1) Spending alone time again in the office joyfully and recollecting myself, and 2) I am writing on this blog again.
They say do not post anything personal on the web, because your privacy will be revealed. But for me, at the end of the day, I just want to find myself again and to be an inspiration on people who goes through the same things or if this is in the books already, somebody will stumble upon these entries just in time when they need it the most.
I know I am ready to be okay and to be better again, because of this perfect indication I know very well; I cannot stop typing spontaneously without thinking so hard on what to write. I am sure most of you know this feeling...like when you are writing on your diary every night.
So here goes fixing the life of me. ;)
Tuesday, October 14, 2014
Tuesday, June 24, 2014
When things get out of control and you need to hear yourself a little more...
Dear Vrigette,
Welcome back! You finally made time to something you are longing so much to do, and to the one thing that makes you sane...WRITING. :)
For sure, you have thought of coming back so many times --of sharing what you are going through (may it be a thing of wonder or a rough day or even the negativity you seem to feel that you want to shake off). Now, make time and let such wisdom and random thoughts flow.
You need it.
Love,
Yourself
Thursday, March 27, 2014
Why, hello there, stranger! It's been a while. :)
I have been thinking about how will I plot my feats and great life-turning experiences into words, but I cannot seem to find the right ones to give justice on how joyful and heart-warming these past few months had been.
But I guess that is how each and everyone of us start. We choose our words so carefully to describe the moments so special in our hearts, that we want to share it exactly how we felt it. And when you share your own feats, the goose bumps that entail with these, and how INCREDIBLE your life turned around exactly how you want it to be, you cannot contain your happiness yet again; making you reminisce about all the good things that happened after the storm...or perhaps months of crazy tsunami! Truly, calm seas never made a skillful sailor. :)
(I used the word INCREDIBLE because I remember during my elementary days, when I still read my pocket Miriam Webster Dictionary when I'm bored, I was in awe of how this word was formed. "IN" is inserted when you pertain to "NOT" as a suffix connected to a word and "CRED" means "believe." So it is a perfect way to describe all the things that happened to me now. THEY ARE ALL INCREDIBLE!!!! My heart is so happy. Surely, there are still a lot of ups and downs but I feel so much better now. I thank God for everything I have been through, no matter how hard they are or how many tears I shed, because I can truly say they're all worth it.)
A few days ago, I got a message from my dear manager, ms. Kim. :) She copy pasted my Nine-Month Flashback post, and told me to read it again. I was in tears upon reading all my struggles, frustrations and personal goals and realizing they all came to life in a span of weeks when I accepted and embraced with an open and happy heart all the hard things that are happening to me; because I believed everything will pass -- good or bad. This blog had been so personal to me. I usually don't, for the lack of a better word, promote it because this blog had been my avenue when I uplift myself. It is too sacred that I wanted it to touch lives. But since that time, I felt that these are just pure drama (because I believe everyone has their own battle to fight, so I don't have the right to promote my rant); only to realize that it can be an inspiration to my teammates, and to uplift their heavy hearts with countless frustrations that we are destined to face in our line of job.
What I am so so so so super kaduper sincerely happy about is how my strong desire to help my family came true. Reading my past blog posts help me realign my goals again. I was in tears when reading my blog posts and thinking how amazing God turned my life around, exactly when He knew I was ready. I was so scared to fight, because I was thinking I cannot make it because of the bullshit I store in my head. But what I am fortunate of is the character He had instilled in me to surpass all those negativity that come along the way.
Earlier, I've said I was having a hard time choosing my words carefully, because I wanted every blog post to be so memorable -- only to realize based on my previous posts that when you make sure you just type down what's in your heart, and the desires from the utmost of your being, there are no wrong words to say. I have realized how powerful my words were, and how it helped me set my mind in terms of achieving my goals, and maintaining a light heart. I have learned from my mistakes, and those words helped me not to do it again.
Despite the new struggle I am facing now, I am really scared and in panic mode. But what I know now is that I have the character and will to fight this battle again. I am so in love with life, that I am willing to plunge again on the cliff of uncertainty. and that my dear Lord will help me get pass through it.
Yet again, there are so many things and moments I'd like to share in this blog. I should allow myself to have a time for it. :) Because one of the desires of my heart is for every sales man to experience the adrenaline and the exhilarating sigh of relief that things will be perfectly just fine in God's time. :)
For now, I shall go back to encoding my CASs and updating my clients...
And after a few months of silence in this blog, one of the things I can sincerely say until now is...I have never been so in love with my job than I am now. :) And I thank God for it. :)
But I guess that is how each and everyone of us start. We choose our words so carefully to describe the moments so special in our hearts, that we want to share it exactly how we felt it. And when you share your own feats, the goose bumps that entail with these, and how INCREDIBLE your life turned around exactly how you want it to be, you cannot contain your happiness yet again; making you reminisce about all the good things that happened after the storm...or perhaps months of crazy tsunami! Truly, calm seas never made a skillful sailor. :)
(I used the word INCREDIBLE because I remember during my elementary days, when I still read my pocket Miriam Webster Dictionary when I'm bored, I was in awe of how this word was formed. "IN" is inserted when you pertain to "NOT" as a suffix connected to a word and "CRED" means "believe." So it is a perfect way to describe all the things that happened to me now. THEY ARE ALL INCREDIBLE!!!! My heart is so happy. Surely, there are still a lot of ups and downs but I feel so much better now. I thank God for everything I have been through, no matter how hard they are or how many tears I shed, because I can truly say they're all worth it.)
A few days ago, I got a message from my dear manager, ms. Kim. :) She copy pasted my Nine-Month Flashback post, and told me to read it again. I was in tears upon reading all my struggles, frustrations and personal goals and realizing they all came to life in a span of weeks when I accepted and embraced with an open and happy heart all the hard things that are happening to me; because I believed everything will pass -- good or bad. This blog had been so personal to me. I usually don't, for the lack of a better word, promote it because this blog had been my avenue when I uplift myself. It is too sacred that I wanted it to touch lives. But since that time, I felt that these are just pure drama (because I believe everyone has their own battle to fight, so I don't have the right to promote my rant); only to realize that it can be an inspiration to my teammates, and to uplift their heavy hearts with countless frustrations that we are destined to face in our line of job.
What I am so so so so super kaduper sincerely happy about is how my strong desire to help my family came true. Reading my past blog posts help me realign my goals again. I was in tears when reading my blog posts and thinking how amazing God turned my life around, exactly when He knew I was ready. I was so scared to fight, because I was thinking I cannot make it because of the bullshit I store in my head. But what I am fortunate of is the character He had instilled in me to surpass all those negativity that come along the way.
Earlier, I've said I was having a hard time choosing my words carefully, because I wanted every blog post to be so memorable -- only to realize based on my previous posts that when you make sure you just type down what's in your heart, and the desires from the utmost of your being, there are no wrong words to say. I have realized how powerful my words were, and how it helped me set my mind in terms of achieving my goals, and maintaining a light heart. I have learned from my mistakes, and those words helped me not to do it again.
Despite the new struggle I am facing now, I am really scared and in panic mode. But what I know now is that I have the character and will to fight this battle again. I am so in love with life, that I am willing to plunge again on the cliff of uncertainty. and that my dear Lord will help me get pass through it.
Yet again, there are so many things and moments I'd like to share in this blog. I should allow myself to have a time for it. :) Because one of the desires of my heart is for every sales man to experience the adrenaline and the exhilarating sigh of relief that things will be perfectly just fine in God's time. :)
For now, I shall go back to encoding my CASs and updating my clients...
And after a few months of silence in this blog, one of the things I can sincerely say until now is...I have never been so in love with my job than I am now. :) And I thank God for it. :)
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